How to Spot a Diet

Diet Specifies No chocolate.

It has a name.

You’ve only got to do it for a short period of time. 

You need to buy something other than food.

It requires you to put something in places that aren’t your mouth.

Celery Juice.

It’s going to help you reset/reboot (you’re not a computer).

One of the Kardashians has been associated with it in any way, shape or form.

The word ‘cleanse’ appears.

The word ‘detox’ appears.

The word ‘clean’ appears.

It comes from spirits (Medical Medium I’m looking at you buddy). 

It requires a subscription. 

You’re hungry ALL the time. 


All you do is drink juice.

You put lots of butter on things. 

There are excessive amounts of coconut oil. 

It says things like “eat less” and “move more”.

You ruin PERFECTLY good coffee with copious amounts of fat. 

It’s is going to make you alkaline (which would kill you by the way).

It mentions the word metabolism.

It bans certain foods.  

It says it’s the best and only way to lose weight.

It controls when you can and can’t eat. 

It involves cheating. 

You’re becoming best friends with your food scales. 

It starts tomorrow / next Monday. 

It contains silly rules about pronunciation. 

It tells you to “eat less”. 

It tells you to “eat healthy”. 

It says calories don’t matter. 

It says calories are the only thing that matter.

All you do is eat meat. 

You have to eat the same thing all the time. 

You need to know your blood type.

There’s a set duration. 

You need to include ‘superfoods’. 

No pizza. 

It invokes feelings of guilt. 

“Yeah you’re not losing weight because of your hormones”. 

You get nervous when eating out.

It makes no attempt to adapt to your lifestyle, body composition, or medical history. 


Instead of yo-yo dieting for any more of your life, book in to see our Dietitian (Jono) for long-term, sustainable results. Remember, if you can’t see yourself eating similarly (to a specific diet) for the rest of your life – don’t do it.